My favorite pervertible is my wife, Beth. No, seriously. I can take her out in public and nobody knows she's a sex toy--and a well-used one at that. They comment on her cute leather choker without knowing that I put it her that morning, or that I took the dog collar she sleeps in off … Continue reading My Favorite Pervertible

What if you had to pick between D/s and your relationship? Hooray, it's another one of my fun little chipper posts today, you know, one of the really perky ones... Before anybody freaks out: this question is purely hypothetical. Beth and I are fine and happy and in love with our D/s marriage. But one of the … Continue reading D/s vs. LTR

Just a quick practical tip for a Sunday Brunch kind of post. But first, a caveat: if you've not used a cane before, for the love of all that is good in your world, learn the basics before you use it. Canes are one of the most feared implements in the BDSM toybox, and they absolutely … Continue reading A Caning Tip

One of the neat things about meeting people is that there are some lessons best learned by modeling behavior from another human being. No matter how many times I read about a certain activity, it sometimes just won't come together for me until I see it done. This is especially true when the activity is … Continue reading Stick ‘Em Up!

There's a term in psychology called "cognitive complexity". It's an idea used to describe how complicated the mental models are that we use to describe and interpret the world around us. In layman's terms, I see the world and people and philosophy and everything else in many shades of gray, while Beth tends a bit … Continue reading 50 Shades of Black and White

I recently read an interesting phrase: "23/7 lifestyle". The phrase indicates that there's a regular space created within the power exchange to drop the protocol and allow the sub to bring up concerns or complaints that otherwise must be respectfully tolerated as part of the protocol. I've heard this called "porch time", "dynamic interviews", and … Continue reading 23/7

Yesterday's chat on The SafeworD/s Club was about toy play, what toys we liked and which we didn't, and it was neat to see the vast assortment of implements people use for play. What really struck me was the broad range of items on every axis. Doxy Wands and Hitachi Magic Wands obviously ticked the "expensive, but soooo worth … Continue reading Quality versus Expense

Heads-up: today's post is long, philosophical, and really heavy. It's ultimately about my approach to D/s, but only barely, tangentially, at the end. D/s is the tip of a giant iceberg, and this post explores the 90% that's underwater, supporting the tip, making it visible. If you're in the mood for a lighthearted sexy romp, … Continue reading Finding Meaning in D/s

Thank you to everyone who commented on Friday's post about Beth's collar. I spent the weekend thinking about some of the reasons her collar is so important to us, especially in regards to our particular D/s dynamic. To explain this, I have to jump way far afield for a moment. Bear with me. Woody Allen … Continue reading Showing Up

Just a quick status update. I'm pretty much recuperated from what my doctor says was a viral sinus infection. I didn't even know such a thing was possible; I thought viral incursions were systemic and not localized to a site. Beth has the same general symptoms (sweating, fatigue, chills but no fever) as I did, … Continue reading On The Mend