So… my reality check just bounced.
People with ADHD are bad at estimating time and time costs. I was diagnosed over 25 years ago, am well-medicated, have a deep understanding of my symptoms, weaknesses, and blind spots, and have spent over half my life learning to play to my strengths and work around my weaknesses.
Hah. Remember that one time when I said I had a deep understanding of my blind spots? Dude, it was literally two sentences ago. The thing about blind spots is you can’t see them even if you know they’re there. Remember that other time when I said people with ADHD are bad at estimating time? That was like forever ago, by which I mean literally the sentence just before the one about the blind spots.
The short version is when I said I needed to pace myself, I didn’t need to back off one day in seven. I have let myself become staggeringly overscheduled. I’m going to reassess my priorities, say no to a bunch of stuff, and readjust my expectations accordingly. The time commitment I’ve been pouring into my blog has been far in excess of what I estimated.
I have proven to my own satisfaction that my idea generator does indeed work any time I sit down to write. I’m not out of ideas and I’ll never be out of ideas. I have also discovered that this takes a lot more time and effort than I thought.
I have a bunch of options available to me right now. I could quit blogging. (I’m not going to, I’m just saying.) I could drop a bunch of other priorities. I could keep blogging daily and just cut back on quality until I can ship reliably inside my time budget. That’s not a bad goal and I think I mentioned earlier that I thought I could get there, but again, the amount of time needed to get there was something that I estimated with my own “lol what even is time?” brain. I don’t want to fall into the perfectionism trap, but I also don’t want to just crank out dreck; there needs to be a minimum quality floor that I stay above.
Consider this my announcement that I’ll be updating when I can, and please expect a drastically reduced and somewhat random schedule until and unless I change some other commitments. I’m saying no to daily updates on my blog in order to reclaim that couple of hours a day that I was pouring into the idea-having experiment. I’m calling that experiment a success, but I need that time back.
I’m not vanishing. Well, I am—but I’ll be back, promise. Hopefully soon. 🙂