Dominance and ADHD

There’s a lot I want to say about the subject of ADHD as it relates to D/s relationships. I literally have 9 partial drafts right now according to the little counter next to the “Write” button in WordPress. Yesterday I came across a youtube channel “How to ADHD”. The author, Jessica, is funny, charming, pretty, and very clearly has a raging case of ADHD.

If you have ADHD or someone you love does, take a moment and check her channel out.

How to ADHD

I would say “I’ll wait for you to come back” but you’re not even reading anymore, are you. Hahahaha… I’ll see you tomorrow. Enjoy the cat videos!

For those of you still here… wow. I’m still reeling from some realizations from watching her videos. (Yes I binge-watched like twenty of them.) The biggest thing that’s really hard for me to process emotionally is the fact that I have agreed with people in the past when they have said “oh, we’re all a little bit ADHD sometimes!”

Can I just take a moment and say that no, you’re not?

There are 12 hallmark symptoms of ADHD and yes, we have all experienced each of those symptoms at one time or another. But feeling those symptoms is not what ADHD is. ADHD means you have most of the symptoms, at the same time, all the time, and you have had them all your life. Think about that: you can’t be a little bit ADHD sometimes, because ADHD literally means never knowing what it’s like toΒ not have all those symptoms. If you get distracted, and then clear your head and feel better,Β you have no idea.

Having ADHD means living with the symptoms 24/7. And it means living with the scars and the fallout and the mental health problems that the symptoms cause in the rest of your life.

I am fortunate (and forever grateful) that my symptoms are now very well-managed. I’m in a good place in my life now. But boy did I ever I take the long way round getting here!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go think some about how diminished executive function influences one’s ability to lead in a D/s relationship. (So I can make more blog posts here!)

4 thoughts on “Dominance and ADHD

  1. I love your brain. I love that you’ve figured out a way to make ADD your super power, even thought it’s still occasionally your kryptonite. I love that you are creative and clever, that you love solving problems and taking on a challenge. I love that you are curious and love to learn. I love that you see things in a different way. Being neurodivergent can be a good thing. πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I think that because a lot of these things have symptoms that other people experience they feel they can relate to it and use the ‘little bit’ term. I have heard this with regard to anxiety, depression, OCD, autism, ADHD and even Tourette’s. I think that for people who actually have a diagnosis of these things it can be extremely undermining to the challenges that they face daily to make sense of a world where most others experience things in a different way. I loved Beth’s comment and I think it is such a pity that there isn’t more set up in our society to help young people who are struggling with something to be able to hear from adults who have made it their ‘superpower’. It can be very isolating to be ‘neurodivergent’ in a neurotypical world and you would make a great role model.

    Liked by 3 people

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