Immature Dom Epiphany

AlphaJT ran with a question I posted earlier, and his answer sparked an epiphany of my own. He was musing on when he knew he was Dominant and mentioned that as a youth he did some dumb relationship things that immature or wannabe Doms would do. This struck me as inspiring, and I realize this is an odd thing to be inspired by, but think about it: there is no path to maturity that doesn’t start in immaturity.

Beth and I started down the path of DD and D/s about four years ago. At times it was discouraging, especially when I realized I’d made a particularly stupid mistake, or when I’d get a sense of just how many things I had yet to learn before I’d be any good at this. Just this year I finally reached a sense of comfort with my progress. I haven’t slowed down in learning new lessons, but I feel like this year I passed a tipping point where the number of problems I’ve had that I’ve already seen an answer to finally (albeit barely) exceeds the number of problems I just have to figure out from scratch.

There’s no guarantee that immaturity will lead to maturity, of course. I can reject the lesson any time I want. But I read somewhere once that if you want to get good at something, you have to be willing to suck at it first. I knew that going into D/s and it’s helped me weather the rougher patches. From day one of D/s I knew I needed to be willing to learn and grow, and that when life hands me failure, I need to not lose the lesson.

And… yeah. It’s encouraging and inspiring to see the wiser heads out there and know that once upon a time, they had to figure things out by making mistakes and learning from them too.


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