Differences in Experience

I was talking with a new sub on The SafeworD/s Club the other day. She’s getting ready for her first scene with her partner, and she’s excited but also totally freaking out nervous. We talked her through the key parts: remember your safewords, trust that you can use your safeword to get out of the scene if it gets too be too much, and don’t worry about disappointing him because he’s going to absolutely love topping you.

In the same chat I was helping the new girl, a much more experienced sub was present. She was way beyond me and Beth in terms of experience and it was fantastic to get to hear tips and pointers from someone with so much more wisdom.

I love this about the D/s dynamic. I have bored and scared different people in the same room with the same sentence. But it’s not a straight line. There is no ladder of D/s that you climb and when you’re up there you suddenly know more than everybody below you. It’s more like a field, and you can go in any direction, and if you’re all the way at one end of the field somebody just starting out might be closer to a different edge of the field and you can learn from each other.

Beth found a new kind of play the other day I’d never heard of. I couldn’t even tell you the name of it, but it involves finding the nerves up inside the canals the testicles descend from. GYEAHHHRGH. It sounds excruciating! …but she’s read that some folks really like it and under the right conditions it can be amazing. So who knows, maybe we’ll try a new thing. And then when I tell people about it they can make the same GYEAHHRGHH sound and I can share with them a new experience to try.

Or maybe I’m just about to get punked in the nuts.

Either way, I love this journey.

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