I'm not a fan of One True Way™ thinking, and while I value the use of labels and terminology as a way of expressing a concept quickly, I start to worry when I see someone trying to assert a definition that is one size fits all. Today Beth found a site that was trying to … Continue reading BDSM Litmus Test
So I guess not having a plan to write is about equivalent to planning to not write ever. Oops. There is a curse in Chinese: "may you live in interesting times". The past couple of months have been pretty interesting, I guess. Especially from a mental health standpoint. Before I say anything else I want … Continue reading Chop Wood, Carry Water
So... my reality check just bounced. People with ADHD are bad at estimating time and time costs. I was diagnosed over 25 years ago, am well-medicated, have a deep understanding of my symptoms, weaknesses, and blind spots, and have spent over half my life learning to play to my strengths and work around my weaknesses. … Continue reading LOL, Schedule?
Two months straight without missing a day ain't bad; today I realized I need to back off a little to pace myself. Gonna try taking Sundays off and see if that helps me catch my breath. Catch you tomorrow!
One of the hardest things Beth and I had to learn as we entered D/s was to let me fail. Think about all the things you want to get right in your relationship. You get into D/s and you learn that you need to communicate. You need to control your temper. You need to stay … Continue reading Owning Failure
There's a lot I want to say about the subject of ADHD as it relates to D/s relationships. I literally have 9 partial drafts right now according to the little counter next to the "Write" button in WordPress. Yesterday I came across a youtube channel "How to ADHD". The author, Jessica, is funny, charming, pretty, … Continue reading Dominance and ADHD
There's an entire class of solutions and advice that I find perfectly hits the sweet spot between annoying and useless. I call these steaming turds of so-called wisdom, "time machine advice". Let's say I grab a piece of hot metal and burn my hand. You might tell me "you shouldn't have grabbed that piece of … Continue reading On Time Travel
The trickiest single moment in all of D/s, in my opinion, is the moment when a Dom has to inform their sub that expectations have not been met, and the sub must react and respond to that information. Yes, I'm still on about the stupid package. I'm not beating a dead horse here, though, I … Continue reading Follow-through Failure
As mentioned in yesterday's post, I wanted Beth to take care of a task, and it didn't get taken care of. Yesterday I talked about where I feel I went wrong in the delegation of the task; today I want to talk about why I'm obsessing about it so much. But first of course I'm … Continue reading Leadership Failure
Today I got after Beth for a mistake, and I think I did almost everything wrong. I may have done one or two things right but I'm not sure. I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice. What's a Dom with ADD to do?